A Clear Pool

Truce, by the Dresden Dolls, has a line that accurately describes my humanity...Lolita, by Emilie Autumn, feels like it was written by me... Once again I'm confounded by music. Tonite, some random thoughts. Why do we not trust our hearts? Conditioning, from birth...it can be escaped through desensititzation...  ...if you follow your heart you can do anything. It's when you doubt that things go wrong. In order to learn something, you can't just go from making lots of mistakes, to suddenly making no mistakes...in fact, in order to get better you have to have a quota of mistakes to make. Let's start with 3000, or 2000, or 1000! Don't be afraid to make mistakes! (Korean 101) I feel like a tower, building upward into the sky. Those who are grounded, feel intimidated by the tallness of the structure and shirk away. Others, like birds and dragons, fly by the tower like gusts of wind. Some will land, but ultimately all fly away. Really, I just want another tower...

Have you ever been told "we need to talk", and all you did was listen? Have you ever looked at words, just for what they are? Have you ever been afraid of something, but when you turned to face it, expecting death, you were met with a hug? Have you ever thought, "no one will understand me"? Have you ever realized you did something wrong, before you had to apologize? Have you ever intended to yell at someone, but instead you made a friend? Let's open.

 It's interesting seeing how different I am from my peers. Many times I feel like I'm much older than everyone around me...even the adults. I like to listen to people, and in college there is an abundance of people to hear... I know I repeat things a lot, I'm not a very strong conversationalist, but I'd like to reiterate that I'm moved by my World History professor. Today, we discussed Confucius and his philosophy. I felt like, because my professor loved the subject so much, I also came to discover a love for what he taught. It's funny, because the class is only an hour...but I'm only eighteen, time is only relevant based on perspective. There were many things that really struck me, in this lesson, though. First, the concept of family. "History is a sign post to the future", and if my family history is any sign, I don't want to make the same mistakes. When I ponder my life, I almost always begin with the bad things and the pain. I then th...