A Clear Pool

Why does it seem easier to forgive someone who has tormented you your entire life, than someone you loved that hurt you once? A sense of betrayal, to your senses, your connection to them, your heart.... ...it almost feels irreparable. However, you want to believe it will never happen again. You want to believe that person will change. Somehow that road does not feel safe or wise, and it probably isn't. You don't want to hurt that person, even though they have hurt you. Does that person want to stay, or do they want pure absolution? Which will hurt less? Someone you loved can not forget the intense pain your betrayal has inflicted on them, but with time and care that wound could be cleaned, healed, and hopefully leave a scar that's unnoticeable... ...or you could decide that's too painful. "I will absolve you completely in my mind, in exchange for the abandonment of our former bond." A bond of love is not easily broken, but it changes like the...

I'm going through life with the idea that I have the capacity to do everything I want to do. The funny thing about ideas, is they can only go as far as you take them. Everything I want to do starts off as a dream, and there is always a period where I never want to wake up. When I open my eyes, the world I live in isn't how I dreamed it to be. I'm slowly shaping my waking world into a living dream. When such a world comes into existence... ...where will I go when I sleep? ...and more importantly, what will I be when I wake up?

The internet... ...my activity on the internet is actually scarce enough that I think I could stop using every social site I have an account on, and no one else on that site would really notice...in fact I'm inactive on about 90% of the sites I have accounts on. On the off chance someone noticed, they probably wouldn't go further than asking me to be more active (and if I chose not to, chances are they would just stop worrying about it). Life... ...my activity in life is almost entirely mental. I talk to only a select few people, and all the conversations I have with everyone run together into a mass of words in my mind. Frequently "who said what, when" becomes blurred and creates bouts of confusion in my daily life. If I were to get sick or go missing, I have such little contact with the majority of people I know, that without the few people who have some obligation to know why I am not somewhere (teachers, classmates, roommate...) only two people would actuall...

It's easy to make me fall, but it's nearly impossible to keep me from getting up.  (Thinking about dating) When I do art I think about so many things...everything I've ever learned has been thought about while doing art. In fact, today I was thinking about things relating to Geometry, Calculus, History, Literature, Psychology, and Science/Astronomy (to name a few subjects I distinctly recall thinking about)... Thinking of all these things, I remembered something someone said to me. They asked what my class rank in High School was, and I was ranked around 8 or 10 at the time. I remember they then asked what I want to do in life. Of course, I said I want to study to become an artist. Their response to that was, "What a waste." I don't remember what they meant by that...for all I know now, they could have been joking or teasing me. The thing is, though, I remember it being said. One thing I think about a lot: responses to hypothetical situations. If that...

A large part in the whole that is me reverberates at a musical level. Music not only inspires me, as an artist, it also has the power to awaken parts of my very being (my soul, if you will). I know a lot of people like this...and as I walked home tonight, listening to music, I came to identify this key component of my life. It seems that the times I feel most moved and inspired always come as I listen to music. Today, I realized something about that music... ...the music which moves me most tends to be filled with sad emotion. Current Song on Repeat (Lyrics) It's not necessarily that I like being sad or the songs are intended to be sad, but more that I feel most natural and understanding of that emotion and sound. The image and feeling of crying softly to the sound of beautifully sad music really strikes a chord with me. Perhaps it's just that I am really familiar with that emotion... personally, I don't feel like that's a "bad" thing. A thought cam...

It's been only five days since moving to the Kennesaw State University campus. Going in, I felt more than a little trepidation and disappointment. In my imagination I would have been going to a magnificent art school this semester, and it seemed that the image I have of who I want to be and what I want to do would be hindered by reality. It's fortunate, then, that reality is entirely subjective. It also helps that I have a few friends on campus. Another benefit is that out of the many people I have no interest in meeting, the few I need to meet always stand out. Perhaps now would be a good time to thank the powers that be that I have a good sense of direction (in multiple facets)...since my friends don't have a literal sense of direction and my nature lends to a lack of human interaction. If there's one thing I've been made aware of, it's that:  You can arrive at any given destination from any direction. I find it funny how that is true in the most lit...