A Clear Pool

Validation. I think we each received the gift of that tonight. This one in the middle, each of us knowing. We are old, tired, and yet blooming again. Our names are old and born again. From our pain, we have come into a new life. We breath that life into this decaying world. We know the world is dying. We see, from our lives and the lives of those we touch, that something is wrong. But we yearn to fix it. We feel, deep in our shakingly old hearts, that there must be something beyond the surface. We want to awaken it- that life that is still smouldering under the ashes. We are that life, and we have decided to burn on. As our old selves have died, we know that we too shall die. But we do not mourn that death- the death of someone who has accomplished so much. We mourn the loss of life, of those who we can not save. For those blinded souls, we know we must live. Even in a look, a glance, we know your pain. We distance ourselves from it, and yet are consumed by it. Our heart...

I guess I still want her to know everything about me. It should go without saying that there are people I want to know a lot about, but I usually go about that in very obvious ways. I can admit that I will never know everything about another person, but sometimes I like someone so much that it makes me want to try. To be honest, I'm not very good at it. I can't make friends the way I'd like to. More than anything, I think I am trying to verify something. With these people, whom I have varying degrees of affection for, I am often getting dejected from the return. I don't have any particular response that I am expecting, but I would be lying to say that there isn't some kind of reaction I would like to see. Whether that be a change in them, or an exchange of words, or a subtle expression. Perhaps the problem is that we are all so alike. Protecting ourselves comes before projecting ourselves, and the image we let people see is very controlled. I am trying s...