Cloud Eating
Maybe to no longer feel sadness one should also forfeit happiness. There is a peculiar numbness left over from the hole that used to rule my life. Am I happy to be "free"? Is this lack of pain supposed to mean that I am happy? Remembering moments of my life, I think that I would trade happily-ever-after and dreamlike happiness for sustainable peace. Sometimes I think I never really experienced it. There has always been some hatred eating me apart from the inside, destroying itself and me. Then there came a shroud of quietness... and a whisper on the icy wind wondered quietly, "Is this peace?" When I lie in my bed, holding onto fragments of peaceful bliss, I do not recall those painful things. I do not feel a deep empty sadness pervading my being anymore. Sleeping all day, eating food I can afford, and walking with my own two feet to and fro from my own apartment... these things can be components of peace. It also seems to me that hobbies stopped being a di...