The Glow

I feel like I have grown so much from the time we had together. You asked a lot of me, and I gave a lot- but that is probably why I feel I have changed so much... and really mostly for the better.

The truth is that I am doing this for myself...so I am trying so hard not to be selfish and to take care of you however you need me to.

If you need silence, we can completely cut each other off... or if you need some advice for growth I will try to be here to talk... and if you just need to get something off your chest I will try to listen...

...but there is one thing I don't think I can do anymore and I think it is to compromise.

I feel like I compromised a lot of things that were meant for myself in order to be better for you. You were the light leading me through the darkness, and I ignored many other things around me to follow that light.

You told me that light shined only for me, and I really believe that.

I think your love for me was the light that could show me myself and the world in a new way.

Now I realize that I have cast you further into darkness, and that at some point I have neglected some aspects of myself that are threatening to break out... I don't plan to follow impulses frivolously anymore, but I can no longer ignore the call of the unknown.

Somewhere out there in the darkness there is a mysterious future waiting for me... and I don't think I can find it without my own light to guide me.

It used to be that your hand was the thing that I held firmly to, leading me... but now I think I should try to float on like a guide-less phantom.

I don't believe that I am alone, because I firmly trust that there are others watching me who share a part of their light... quietly blinking just out of reach- yet there at the first sign of falling. Those people in my life are the silent sentinels protecting me on my journey.

If you can let me go like that, I hope you can move on into your own path toward happiness... but I can't ask you to follow me- not after you held onto me for so long. To ask that would be too selfish... so I must let you go as well.

Let's remember each other fondly.

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