Mechanical World
What was with today? Such blaring evidence that society's rapidly changing perspective is already leaving me behind. I feel so old.
I feel like I'm cursing technology more and more. But one might find it ironic, because it is such an integral part of my life... my schooling, my social interractions, my communication... technology is manipulating all these things.
This lady came into work. She seemed exhausted, so I tried to chat with her in hopes of lighting her up a little bit... she kept saying "I love all this new technology". I tried to tell her how things we better before it... and she was so entralled with the changes technology brings that she totally disregarded my negativity. How discouraging...
She was at least 30 years older than me, and I sound like an old man compared to her.
To put it bluntly, I distrust technology. But I can't deny it's usefulness. So contradictory.
I pointed out to her that tattoo and intrabody technology already exists, just as smartphone and tablet technology already existed before it became popular... and that it's just a matter of marketing it and making it necessary to blend into society... she cringed, "that will never happen, I wouldn't go that far" ... and I thought, "ma'am, you're already on the slippery slope of technology dependence by praising it so highly". But maybe I'm some kind of paranoid conspiracy theorist thriving on logical fallacies.
The news plays constantly at work... I keep hearing "gun control! controversy! politics! health care!" and it sickens me. But, like anyone in this society, I had to try my luck at sparking conversation about it. Maybe my opinion mattered to someone, I don't know. So I tried, and it didn't. I realized that any argument I had was fundamentally misaligned with the opinions and arguments of my peers... that fundamental was nationalism. Apprently, I'm already an expatriot.
My reading homework for History of Photography was very plain. The language was fun to disseminate, but once I understood it, I was displeased. Here I am, painting and drawing and handcrafting and all this tom-foolery, and this article has to give me a sound argument that my passion is completely obsolete. Thanks for that, as if I don't already lack belonging in every other aspect of my life.
All in all I simply wish I could find that bridge between the dream and my reality. In my attempts to be realistic, I always feel like I have to say "I want to.... but I'll probably..." Realistically, there is quite a chasm. And my inhibition is that I am altogether horrified at the thought of diving into it. There's the possibility that I could acheive all I ever wanted, but there's also the risk that I will lose that and then some.
Ah, fuck. What am I to do?
I feel like I'm cursing technology more and more. But one might find it ironic, because it is such an integral part of my life... my schooling, my social interractions, my communication... technology is manipulating all these things.
This lady came into work. She seemed exhausted, so I tried to chat with her in hopes of lighting her up a little bit... she kept saying "I love all this new technology". I tried to tell her how things we better before it... and she was so entralled with the changes technology brings that she totally disregarded my negativity. How discouraging...
She was at least 30 years older than me, and I sound like an old man compared to her.
To put it bluntly, I distrust technology. But I can't deny it's usefulness. So contradictory.
I pointed out to her that tattoo and intrabody technology already exists, just as smartphone and tablet technology already existed before it became popular... and that it's just a matter of marketing it and making it necessary to blend into society... she cringed, "that will never happen, I wouldn't go that far" ... and I thought, "ma'am, you're already on the slippery slope of technology dependence by praising it so highly". But maybe I'm some kind of paranoid conspiracy theorist thriving on logical fallacies.
The news plays constantly at work... I keep hearing "gun control! controversy! politics! health care!" and it sickens me. But, like anyone in this society, I had to try my luck at sparking conversation about it. Maybe my opinion mattered to someone, I don't know. So I tried, and it didn't. I realized that any argument I had was fundamentally misaligned with the opinions and arguments of my peers... that fundamental was nationalism. Apprently, I'm already an expatriot.
My reading homework for History of Photography was very plain. The language was fun to disseminate, but once I understood it, I was displeased. Here I am, painting and drawing and handcrafting and all this tom-foolery, and this article has to give me a sound argument that my passion is completely obsolete. Thanks for that, as if I don't already lack belonging in every other aspect of my life.
All in all I simply wish I could find that bridge between the dream and my reality. In my attempts to be realistic, I always feel like I have to say "I want to.... but I'll probably..." Realistically, there is quite a chasm. And my inhibition is that I am altogether horrified at the thought of diving into it. There's the possibility that I could acheive all I ever wanted, but there's also the risk that I will lose that and then some.
Ah, fuck. What am I to do?
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