We do what we must.

Occasionally my bookstore skimming, a process in which I pick up interestingly titled/covered books and flip through them briefly before returning them to the shelf, brings me gems of truth to pique my interest. As I flipped through the pages of one book, I read something along the lines of, "If you are less than happy with what you're doing in your life, then first improve what you're currently doing. You will either become better and more satisfied with what you do, or your true path will unfold before you."

I recently read The Alchemist, which I'm under the impression is one of those peculiar books that tend to be read during periods of change, redirection and initiation in ones life (much like Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions or Siddhartha which all influenced me greatly at different moments that shaped my perspective). To be honest, this book felt more like a reminder than a lesson, and in itself an omen on the path of my own "personal legend".

What is my own "path" or "personal legend" though? Maybe you're wondering. Maybe I know.

Really, I don't try to define it. Whether because I can't know for sure or I know the way to it is so changeable, my end and means remain vague enough to change but specific enough to give me a sense of direction. Even when I receive "omens" or "visions" of what may be to come or what may be my destiny, I take them in stride. At first, this was merely a precaution to a looming sense of insanity, but over time that fear has dwindled and instead this serves as a cushion that keeps me within range of the "right direction". I don't know everything...or see everything... and my cautiousness is my acknowledgement of that fact.

So as I receive mysterious guidance in my life and try to heed it, there will always be a part of me that questions, "Is this really what I should be doing?"

But for me, I feel like "my path" itself is not really something to be questioned. For a true artist, there isn't really a question of whether they "like" or "want to do" art. Within their being there is some force that compels them... one saying "I must do art, for if I do not then I would simply cease to exist". So too am I compelled, in my art, studies and life... that is the path to my unforeseeable destiny... I will do what I must.