Repeating the Dream

When I wake up...I'm usually not terribly excited to be awake. I remember my dreams with such clarity, that I often wish I could live in them instead of reality.

When I realize I'm convincing myself to live a dream in this reality, and I finally decide to wake up... I'm usually not terribly excited to accept what I understand to be true.

It's because I am so resistant of the truth that I keep having to learn the same lesson over and over.

The dreaming world just seems so beautiful and ideal, I thought I could have at least little parts of it. I would lower my standards, just let me have a tiny piece of that dream-like world.
It's like deciding to abandon your possessions...but you want to keep that one item. The deal is incomplete. "Can't I just keep this one thing?"

But the truth is that in time you will overcome the loss of anything. The initial adjustment following the change (from dream to reality) can be very painful. Just as there are possessions I could carelessly throw away, there are dreams I can easily let go...

...how many times must I dream of a "me and you" before I learn to let it go? I read over my blogs and see a pattern...

...how can I escape the sadness, the repetition of a dream, and awake to transcendence?

Comments

  1. RemembrantMay 4, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    my teacher gave us this poem on the last day of class and I thought you might like to read it.



    Rudyard Kipling
    If

    If

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
    Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
    And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

    she said it helps her get through hard times or when she's starts doubting herself.

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