More About Puddles and Rings

I've been feeling more pressure from "people" lately. All kinds of people. Some of them don't even mean to influence me. It goes back to the "clear pool" imagery. The image I got of how I feel is in two parts, sort of like this:

One


I'm in the middle of a large ring of people, with my eyes closed and my face turned upward. I know I have to lower my head to open my eyes. In the circle, there are a lot of people yelling "Look at me!" who want my attention for some reason or another.
Some of them want to hurt themselves.
Some of them just don't want me to look at the others.
Some of them want me to love them or they want my help.
Then there are the quiet ones. There are some people that I really want to look at, but they are quiet and patiently waiting for me to look at them. So, as I'm standing in the middle, I don't know where those people are in the circle.
When I look down and open my eyes, my peripheral vision will only allow me to see so many people. Maybe I'll be looking at only people who want something from me, or maybe I will be able to see some smiling faces saying "good job, you found me!"...but wherever I look, there will be people behind me, and I won't know what I'm missing.

Two

Going back to the "Clear Pool" concept. I think I'm a slightly obnoxious pool. My pool likes to throw rocks into the other pool. Usually it's just because I want to share my pebbles with them. And the pools I throw pebbles into splash some water into my pool.
For me, the water, like my memories, mixes into my pool and becomes a small part of me. I remember the other pool where the water came from, but it's unclear what part came from that pool. However, for them, I left a pebble in their pool. A pebble that stares at them every day. It didn't originally belong in their pool, it's foreign.
Some of those pools seem to really let this pebble affect them...
Usually, I'm not actually very aware of the significance it made to that pool, because I was throwing pebbles into so many pools...
Do I need to take responsibility for those pebbles? Even though the trade, the splash, seemed even to me? Or is it okay to leave the trade as it stands...with them having that reminder, and me just being myself?

It's time for me to slow down, lay in the grass, take deep breaths, and really look around. It's time to sleep, and as I dream...listen and find understanding.

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